Thoughts about life


Forgive and forget?

I don't think so. 

 

A few personal thoughts on forgiveness:

Why forgive? Because forgiveness sets you free. Free from being attached to the misery.
But what if the offender has no remorse? What about the repeated or pathological offender?

To understand forgiveness, we see the offender of the offense as unconscious. Not unconscious of the offense, of course, but unconscious of who they really are.
Where communication breaks down, however, is that many people equate forgiveness with acceptance of the offense.
Quite the contrary: the offense is always unacceptable. You can't forgive an offense, even if that were possible. The damage is done.
You forgive the offender, not the offense. 

Contrary to what people may think, it is even more difficult to forgive someone who is alive; at least the person who is dead can do no more harm. People equate forgiveness with trust; why would anyone be so foolish as to expose oneself to the potential of a repeated offense after reconciliation? Well, if there's a loose cannon on deck, keep out of the way! The offender may remain unconscious, so you forget at your peril!

One final thought: esoteric as it may seem to some, the reason why forgiveness sets you free is that we are, in the final analysis, really forgiving ourselves. Like the one hundred trillion cells in your body, we are all uniquely individual, conscious cells, comprising the single great organism of consciousness. That we think we are separate from one another and from anything and everything else is just an illusion. When you forgive me, you are forgiving you, almost as if you had done the deed yourself.

Nah, you say, I'm not buying into that. Revenge is sweet, a dish best served cold. None of these new age cliches for me about being one with the universe. Forgiveness doesn't solve anything.

That is true. Forgiveness doesn't solve anything.  It dissolves.  Solving has to do with working things out in your head. Forgiveness is not something that can come from the mind.                                                          

Forgiveness dissolves the misery of your connection with the offender and the offense. And even though the offender remains unconscious and even remorseless, the only way the offender can awaken is through your forgiveness.              




Greg (eBooks)