Thoughts about forgiveness

The above is an interview with the late, great Wayne Dyer. (c. 30 mins.) 



Forgive and forget?

I don't think so.


A few personal thoughts on forgiveness: 


Forgive, from the Old (Germanic) English forgiefan, or modern German, vergeben, probably from the Latin, perdonare, literally, 'to give through'.

Apart from the core concept, give, however, the above words still don't make any sense! The Irish word for forgiveness, maithiúnas ('mah-hoo-nass'), is arguably closer to the true meaning of forgiveness. It literally means 'goodness'. When you forgive, therefore, you are giving goodness.

The meaning of forgiveness is misunderstood when it is assumed to command a moral high ground; the forgiver is seen as 'superior' to the forgiven.

How can one overcome this dilemma?

By recognising that there is nothing to forgive.

Why forgive? Because forgiveness sets you free. Free from being attached to the misery.
But what if the offender has no remorse or no intention to atone for what was done? What about the recidivist?

To understand forgiveness, we see the offender of the offence as unconscious. Not unconscious of the offence, of course, but unconscious of who they really are.
Where communication breaks down, however, is that many people equate forgiveness with (reluctant) acceptance of the offence.
Quite the contrary: the offence is always unacceptable. You can't forgive an offence, even if that were possible. The damage is done.
You forgive the offender, not the offence. 

Contrary to what people may think, it is more difficult to forgive someone who is alive; at least the person who is dead can do no more harm. People equate forgiveness with trust; why would anyone be so foolish as to expose oneself to the potential of a repeated offence after reconciliation? Well, if there's a loose cannon on deck, keep out of the way! The offender may remain unconscious, so you forget at your peril!

Weird as it may seem, the reason why forgiveness sets you free is that we are, in the final analysis, really forgiving ourselves. Like the one hundred trillion cells in your body, we are all uniquely individual, conscious cells, comprising one great single organism of consciousness. In the final analysis, each cell comprises molecules and atoms we now know are not particles at all - their electrons are more like nano-tornadoes racing around an invisible nucleus - so each and every one of us, as well as everything else in our holographic universe, manifests as an inseparable unit of consciousness, one of an infinite variety of inseparable units of consciousness made of pure, unbounded energy waves and vibrational frequencies.That we think we are solid and separate from one another and from anything or everything else is just an illusion, a trick of the light. When you forgive me, therefore, you are forgiving you, as if you had done the deed yourself. Tat tvam asi, as they say in Sanskrit; I am that, I am you. Similarly, when you use the verb love with an object, i.e. I love you / I love it, you are also creating a duality where there is none. Maybe a better way of expressing it is to say, I am love; I am forgiveness. 

Nah, you say, I'm not buying into that. Revenge is sweet. I'm having none of these new age clichés and pop science nonsense telling us that we're all one! Forgiveness doesn't solve anything.

That too is true. Forgiveness doesn't solve anything. It dissolves. Solving has to do with working things out in your head. Forgiveness, however, is not something that can come from the mind. The mind equates forgiveness with weakness, lack of self-respect, inertia. The ego regards forgiveness as a threat to its very existence. The ego hates forgiveness; it would rather kill than forgive, even if it had to kill its own vehicle (you) in the process. 

Life is like a dream. You dream everything (and everybody) into existence. Forgiveness dissolves the misery of illusory duality, of your connection with the offender and the offence. The only way the offender can awaken from unconsciousness is through your forgiveness. 

We can only forgive when we realise that there is nothing to forgive. 

Greg (eBooks)