Thoughts about life

 

 (The intro takes about 30 secs. but it's worth the wait for the interview with Wayne)

The above link is a memorable interview with the inimitable Wayne Dyer about forgiveness, that much misunderstood word. He refers to the beautiful analogy of forgiveness being like the scent of a violet crushed under heel.
The video is forty minutes long but if you can only see the first half, it's DEFINITELY time well spent!

A few personal thoughts on forgiveness:

Why forgive? Because forgiveness, like truth, sets you free.
OK, that makes sense.
But what if the offender has no remorse or is a repeated or even pathological offender?
To understand forgiveness, we see the offender of the offense as unconscious. Not unconscious of the offense, of course, but unconscious of his or her true self while here on earth. (...they know not what they do.)
Where meaning breaks down, however, is that many people equate forgiveness with acceptance.
Quite the contrary: the offense is always unacceptable. You can't forgive an offense, even if that were possible; the damage is done.
You forgive the offender, not the offense.
In the interview above, Wayne's father is dead and at the age of thirty-four, he goes to his grave to piss on it. Is it possible, then, to forgive someone who is dead?
Contrary to what people may think, it is even more difficult to forgive someone who is alive; at least the person who is dead can do no more harm. People equate forgiveness with reconciliation; why would anyone be so foolish as to expose oneself to the potential of a repeated offense after reconciliation? If there's a loose cannon on deck, keep out of the way - if you can!  Forgive and forget?  Certainly not. Always forgive. Always. But forget at your peril.
One final thought: esoteric as it may seem to some, the reason why forgiveness sets you free is that we are, in the final analysis, really forgiving ourselves. Like the one hundred trillion cells in your body, we are all uniquely individual, conscious cells, comprising the single great organism of consciousness. That we think we are separate from one another and from anything and everything else - in the universe!- is just an illusion. When you forgive me, you are forgiving you, almost as if you had done the deed yourself.
Nah, you say, I'm not buying into that. Revenge is sweet, it's a dish best served cold; none of these new age cliches about being one with the universe. Forgiveness doesn't solve anything, you say.
You're right. Forgiveness doesn't solve; it dissolves. Solving has to do with working things out in your head.
Unconscious though the offender may be, the amazing thing about it all is that even the densest, most unconscious offender will recognize the power of forgiveness to dissolve the false self's (or ego's) attachment to the offense and to dissolve the hatred and poisonous feelings of retribution in the one who forgives.

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Greg (eBooks)